This Writing Life

I’m not sure how it is in the lives or minds of others, although I do wonder and enquire a lot. I would love to bypass people’s conscious mind though and travel into that place where conscious mind meets unconscious , to really see. To myself too. And I do try. But short of that kind of technology being available just yet I will have to suffice with asking questions and hoping for the best. Although, the problem is that to get a full picture on someone, or myself, one must be willing to enter that dark zone within to give a full account. Or so I have come to believe. And I often wonder if anyone actually exists without that darkness within. I mean, if someone was born into idealistic circumstances — environmentally and psychologically — would they still harbour darkness as well as light? I can only truly know my own world and my own mind, and even then I don’t think I can completely understand it. But more so than I can know any other, if I so choose, that is. I suspect, how...

I used to fantasise about being a hermit. All of my problems would be solved, I thought, if I could just be left alone — by people and the world. For, all of my ailments and stress were caused by others...obviously! Family, friends, strangers, social conventions, conventional morality, government...and most probably you too. It made perfect sense, to my mind. It was scientific even. Like when two inert substances are brought together, such as bicarb soda and vinegar, you get an acidic, frothing, bubbling over reaction. My life was a continual series of these kinds of chemical reactions. But, if you keep the substances apart...peace and serenity… Genius! Nobel Peace Prize please… However, as a friend of mine would annoyingly point out whenever I bemoaned my inability to extract myself from society and enter the serene utopia of Thoreau’s ‘Walden’, “If you really wanted to be living that life, you’d be doing it”. Damn him and his beautiful logic! I may not have accepted it at f...

In the book, ‘If You Meet the Buddha on the Road, Kill Him’ by Sheldon Kopp, there is a wonderful little laundry list of aphorisms for living at the back of the book. Number 18 states, “If you have a hero, look again: you have diminished yourself in some way”. I've contemplated this little tidbit of wisdom at various moments of the last 20 years of my life, wavering between agreement and rejection, understanding and indifference. The stereotypical superheroes we are served up in film and television, in literature and folklore, while some are tolerable and noble, most aren’t very relatable or accessible. Nor overly heroic, to my mind. For something to be heroic, or superheroic even, one ought to have transformed — and I mean truly transform, through suffering and fear of the unknown — and have confronted real or supposed danger. And yes, superheroes do that, but they are generally fully equipped and supported by some magical or powerful medium. I more want to hear from the...